Here's a list of dos and don'ts for bridesmaids, thanks to wedding experts Bee Kim, who writes the blog Wedding Bee, and Rebecca Dolgin, executive editor of print for The Knot Inc., which puts out wedding publications and a Web site.

Bridesmaid dos

Do » Be prepared. Pack a little emergency kit with things the bride may need, Kim says. Like a stain stick for a dress mishap, some extra cash, safety pins and lip gloss. Get a schedule of the day's events, and contacts for vendors and the wedding party in case anything needs a last-minute fix. "The bride shouldn't have to coordinate those things on the day of," Kim says.

Do » Be specific when offering to help the bride with pre-wedding chores. "You don't want to just say 'What can I help you with?' It incites stress because then she's got to figure it out. Ask if you can stuff envelopes. Or if you can go dress shopping with her after work one day," Dolgin says.

Do » Be honest. You're allowed to tell the bride that you don't like the bridesmaid dress. And you're allowed to alert her to bridezilla behavior. "You don't have to cut your hair if the bossy bride asks you to," Dolgin says.

Do » Walk slowly, know your role and smile, smile, smile. "People get nervous, but you have to take it easy and let people look at you down the aisle," Kim says. "The photographer needs a photo." If you're the maid of honor, be ready to fluff the bride's dress and hold her flowers.

Do » Get on the dance floor. "The wedding party can really set the tone for the event and should help get people involved," says Kim. Dolgin agrees. "The bride really is counting on you to make sure people have a good time," she said. Direct guests to the bar or the bathroom. And stand up for the bouquet toss.

Bridesmaid don'ts

Don't » Badmouth the bride. No saying she's so bossy, no gossiping about how you hate the color of the dress. "It's especially tricky on e-mails -- you can hit 'reply to all' and end up sending the message to her," Dolgin says. "The bride is planning a huge event and she's under a lot of stress, so be sensitive to her feelings."

Don't » Expect everything to be free, or, alternatively, agree to pay when you can't. "Bridesmaid showers, bachelorette parties, these things can really cost a lot of money," says Kim. "You have to be prepared to pay. And if you can't, you have to be upfront about it." It's perfectly OK to opt out of some festivities if you can't foot the bill. Also, don't expect the bride to pay for your hair and makeup on the day of the wedding.

Don't » Get trashed at the reception. As a member of the wedding party you are essentially an extension of the bride. "You're kind of onstage, playing a role, and it's important to be respectful," Kim says.

Don't » Take on too much. Tasks will come up that you must delegate to your fellow maids, even if you are the maid of honor. One woman deals with lunch while everyone's getting ready, and another runs errands to fix a broken button and get safety pins. If you do it all yourself, you'll get resentful watching everyone else have fun.

Don't » Wait until the day of the wedding to tell the bride her dress is too tight or her hairdo is ugly. "She needs to know, but telling her on her wedding day is going to send her into a panic," Dolgin said. "Let it go if you haven't spoken up." Speak up in the weeks and months before the wedding if you notice the dress is too tight or her panty line is showing. She'll thank you for it.